Dickson's Post Trip Entry

It's been a month since we returned from our 15-day Service Learning Trip, SERVE Cambodia 2006. Until today, I still strongly believe a miracle happened and I am part of this miracle. Everything just happened so quickly yet so much has been done. From the pre-trip plannings to bonding camp to the actual trip. It's just mind boggling how this much was done...

Individually, I still cannot believe I have been through all this. Living in the suburbs. Living with limited resources. Living without Internet. Sleeping with mosquitoes. Bathing with bugs. Washing my own dishes and clothes. I have done so much more and honestly I don't think anyone would believe...

I miss the days when we were all lost in time. "What day is today? What time is it now?", were the questions that no one else could answer... What we all knew was our purpose and goals there. To finish up what we had promised. Everyday we would wake and just go for what we had to do. I miss the days when it all seem so slow and long... Have we been complaining how busy and short of time we are in Singapore? I am not saying there's a lot of time, there's only 168 hours a week. We will have to accept that fact and know what we want to do, definitely there will be enough time for everything...

Chatting with the kids and teenagers at FGAC, we will know more about their dreams and ambitions... As much as we want to run from our lives, they want to live our lives... What an irony... We were provided for education, food, clothes, a roof over our heads yet we want to throw our lives away here to live simpler lifestyles... It's no doubt that our lives are physically less tedious and we live in reasonable luxuries yet we don't treasure them because of the struggles living in a stressful city with skyscrapers all around...

Are we happy? Do we feel all cooped up? I definitely still believe Man were born free, away from all these restrictions. I still cannot understand why they want to live our lives... Isn't growing own food, knitting own clothes, building own homes, being self sufficient and keeping life simple better...? I know being self-sufficient needs skills, loads of them therefore a certain level of barter should be beneficial to everyone. Perhaps it could have been better if the World stopped got stuck in Time centuries ago...

Even though I don't understand why they want to live our lives, I certainly admire their attitude in Life. They treasure everything they have, are selfless, helpful and relatively contented. A simple old Stephen Chow movie can make them laugh until they drop. Even with a blackout at night, they don't curse and swear but take it in their stride while looking for a solution...

I would say the 15-day did not melt me, the "Ice Mountain". On our departure date, I only bade goodbye to my parents... I wanted to hug them but they left too quickly and I hesitated. When I was at Cambodia, I didn't think of my family or home for more than 3 times or maybe I didn't even did so. When I left brothers and sisters at the Centres, I only felt minor sadness as compared to many "fountains" around...

Why am I so cold-blooded? I am not, just being selfish. I didn't want to hurt myself emotionally. I am just emotionally prepared. I will not let such things affect me because coming together and leaving each other is just part and parcel of Life. Being attached to something or someone brings us unhappiness only.

During our 15-days, there were differences and shaves as expected. Being a Overall Student Coordinator, I had to maintain my neutral stance. I learnt that there's nothing called neutral. Even Switzerland is no longer a neutral state. What is neutrality? I chose to just keep quiet on all differences. When fires flare at me, I would tell myself that it is due to the scorching weather...

On the 11th day, I was the Day In Charge. That was the day I wondered how did the team survived the last 10 days... Each and every of us had different working methods and many things were just not on sync. I slowly realised everyone has their strength and weaknesses. Someone's strength would cover for another's weakness. Then somehow or another, the team just survived... This is perhaps one of the best realisation I got from the trip. Sometimes letting things go their way can turn out well. There don't have to be some governing body...

Through my life, I will never forget the times we spent at Cambodia as a team and will never stop admiring Mr Sonny and Dr Castro for their work. Thank you all of you for putting and living this miracle together with me. At the end of the day, I have to admit I miss the team more than the Cambodians... If there's an opportunity, let's go back as a team again...